I did it! The elusive perfect brackish (waterways where salinity levels fall between fresh and sea water):
Salty 16
Black Sea vs. Hudson Bay
A classic trap game where the Black Sea was looking ahead to the Baltic Sea. Hudson Bay is home to several thousand beluga whales, and beluga whales are awesome.
Hudson Bay Advances
Baltic Sea vs. Salish Sea
Only one Canadian sea is making it to the Evaporating 8. The United States, Soviet Union, and United Kingdom disposed chemical weapons in the Baltic Sea, so it probably has superpowers.
Baltic Sea Advances
Lake Turkana vs. Lake Charles
Lake Turkana was unable to focus on the matchup because it’s existence is threatened by an Ethiopian dam. Like the people of Louisiana, Lake Charles is extremely resilient, and that enables them to handle the highs and lows of the competition.
Lake Charles Advances
Lake Shinji vs. Loch of Stenness
Loch of Stenness did not have a monster.
Lake Shinji Advances
Lagos Lagoon vs. Simpson Bay Lagoon
Simpson Bay Lagoon, better known as The Great Pond, is one of the most picturesque waterways in the tournament. And, I was a serial Simpsons watcher as a kid.
Simpson Bay Lagoon Advances
Muthupet Lagoon vs. Fleet Lagoon
During my honeymoon, I kayaked caribbean mangroves. Within 30 seconds of entering the mangroves I had double digit mosquito bites. Muthupet is heavily occupied by mangroves. Fleet Lagoon can’t compete with the mosquitos.
Muthupet Lagoon Advances
Amazon River vs. Saint Lawrence River
Saint Lawrence sports the largest estuary in the world. One of the greatest movie taglines is, “When you can’t breathe, you can’t scream” from the 1997 masterpiece Anaconda, which is about an Amazon River journey.
Amazon River Advances
Chesapeake Bay vs. San Francisco Bay
A classic east coast west coast battle. Even though I was more Pac than Biggie, I was born in New York, and the Chesapeake is known for its beauty and bounty (cool phrase), which gives it the edge.
Chesapeake Bay Advances
Evaporating 8
Hudson Bay vs. Baltic Sea
Like the Nordic countries it connects, the Baltic Sea has an intimidating presence that is too much for the friendly Canadian Hudson Bay.
Baltic Sea Advances
Lake Charles vs. Lake Shinji
Lake Shinji advanced on a lack of Loch monsters in round 1. Toni Jo Henry, the only women executed in Louisiana’s electric chair is said to haunt a Lake Charles courthouse.
Lake Charles Advances
Simpson Bay Lagoon vs. Muthupet Lagoon
Muthupet has unusually shallow waters (average depth of 1 meter). Lured into that shallow water, Simpson Bay is unable to escape. I believe the same strategy was used in one of the Jaws movies.
Muthupet Lagoon Advances
Amazon River vs. Chesapeake Bay
When matchups were first released, brackish fans were upset that this heavyweight battle could potentially take place before the Fishy Four. The fact that the Amazon nearly killed trust buster Teddy Roosevelt gave it a slight edge over the possibly too pampered Chesapeake Bay.
Amazon River Advances
Fishy Four
Baltic Sea vs. Lake Charles
The experience factor goes to the Baltic Sea. With battles in The Great War and World War II, including the Battle of Moon Island, the Baltic Sea is unphased by the bright lights of the Fishy Four.
Baltic Sea Advances
Muthupet Lagoon vs. Amazon River
Muthupet Lagoon is the periodic home to many migratory birds, fish, and marine life. Unfortunately, that period wasn’t when they were up against the mighty Amazon River.
Amazon River Advances
Championship
Baltic Sea vs. Amazon River
Have you ever seen a viking grasping a black caiman by the throat while simultaneously punching a jaguar? That was the championship image for Baltic vs. Amazon. A back and forth battle of different climates, histories, wildlife, and geology. In the end the mystique of the warrior women of Greek mythology was too much for the Baltic Sea to overcome.
Amazon River – Champion