Life is hard.
Our actions can make it harder.
*This video contains graphic language*
In American History X, Derek (Edward Norton) is a recently incarcerated neo-nazi skinhead. Dr. Bob Sweeney (Avery Brooks), one of Derek’s former teachers, visits him in the prison hospital. Despite Derek’s commitment to his racist beliefs and actions, when asked the question, “Has anything you’ve done made your life better,” he shakes his head no. Derek finally recognizes that nothing he’s done has improved his life. And worse, his actions have had dire consequences for his family.
Two Takeaways
- Dr. Sweeney’s metric to determine the validity of Derek’s actions is parmount. “Has anything you’ve done made your life better?” Not, “Has anything you’ve done connected you to more people” or “Has anything you’ve done gained you more influence in your community” or “Has anything you’ve done felt good?” For Derek, the answer to the three latter questions, may be a resounding “yes.” But, those three questions are subsidiary to, “Has anything you’ve done made your life better?”
- It’s easy to recognize the poor choices we make: staying up late, prioritizing the wrong things, being sedentary, procrastinating, poor diet, etc. It’s infinitely more difficult to take a step back and critique the choices we make that we assume are the correct ones.
Next Steps
- What is your criteria for success? Struggling to differentiate between an action step and goal, review New Year’s Resolutions – Goal or Action Step? If you don’t have one or the one you have is too specific, steal Dr. Sweeney’s. Once you have a criterion for success, move on to step 2.
- Identify your current actions/habits that you believe are moving you towards success. Review the list to determine if there is anything that you are putting time and energy that is blocking your progress (e.g. you are waking up early to workout, but waking up early is preventing you from getting at least 7 hours of sleep or reading more books on parenting is taking time away from interacting with your kids). Eliminate any actions steps that are not directly moving you towards your goals.
It is common to create a worthwhile goal and plan one or two action steps around it. Then, we start reading, listening to podcasts, and soliciting advice from colleagues, friends, and family. A couple of action steps morph into a habit tracker that monitors 27 distinct actions we need to take or avoid each day. It’s overwhelming and unrealistic. Checking in (weekly, monthly, whatever) to review your goal and if the action steps are aligned will save a lot of wasted time and make your life better.