“Fine” is a telling word in education. “How’s Mrs. ____?” “Oh, she’s fine.” At best, fine is average. Schools are resigned to housing fine teachers, because they do just enough to get by and/or not enough to be dismissed. Like Nearly Headless Nick, they float through building hallways, never positively contributing.

What if there was a way to quantify an educator’s fineness (not “Oh Mickey you’re so fine” fine, but fine as average)?

In baseball, the number of wins a player contributes to his team relative to that of a replacement-level player is called Wins Above Replacement (WAR). Put another way, if a player is injured and replaced by a substitute, how would it impact the team’s wins and losses. Essentially, what’s a players value to his team?

Advanced sports analytics are becoming ubiquitous (that’s twice!) in professional sports. What if similar statistics were utilized in education?

The Shawshank Redemption is filled with iconic scenes. One of which is Red (Morgan Freeman) honestly reflecting on the crime he committed as a young man, not because he thinks it is what the parole committee wants to hear, but because it is how he feels.

Red’s brashness with the parole committee is entertaining. Specifically, calling out the hollowness of the word “rehabilitated.”

As we approach the end of the school year, what if a teacher took a Redish tactic when discussing Standard V with their principal on the year-end North Carolina Teacher Evaluation?

While in college, I learned quickly that professors loved it when you inserted en vogue educational vocabulary into papers and presentations. Shoehorning scaffolding as many times into a lesson reflection essay was not only having a positive impact on my GPA, it felt like a game. For 30 seconds, I had the idea to publish a one page document with 100 education buzzwords that I would sell to freshmen education majors. It seemed like a win-win, but my college brain was redirected to more unimportant tasks.

I think it is time to bring it back (with a twist). Whether you are working on your National Boards, interviewing for a teaching job, earning a Masters in education, or you simply want to impress people outside the world of education, the Education Vernacular Bull Poop Creator (still workshopping the name) is for you!

How it Works

A popular gym shirt reads, “Nobody Cares Work Harder.” There are a million reasons (excuses) why you didn’t win the competition, aren’t achieving your fitness goals, or missed your workout. But as the shirt states, nobody cares. Why does nobody care? Because people are insensitive…just kidding. Nobody cares, because everyone is dealing with real life, which gets in the way of accomplishing what we set out to do. Citing excuses for your failures doesn’t make you special, it makes you annoying.

The very thing that makes education so challenging makes it so rewarding. You never complete a project, close a sale, or finalize a build. Teaching is never ending. That might sound ominous, but it is the constant struggle that forces educators to grow, making each victory a little sweeter…even if there is no time to stop and enjoy it.

In this scene from 1989’s Parenthood, Frank (Jason Robards) is giving his son, Gil (Steve Martin), insight about when you finish being a parent. The message is clear, “It never, never ends.”

Frank is the father of four grown children, each with their own children. Frank’s youngest son, Larry (Tom Hulce), is a constant disappointment. Despite his failures, Frank is perpetually backing Larry’s ill-planned ideas, much to the confusion of oldest son, Gil. Contrary to Larry, Gil is a successful family man, but is struggling with his oldest son, Kevin (Jasen Fisher).

A continuation of Desert Island.

Previously, I discussed my affinity for Lost and seven desert island archetypes (Helpless, Complainer, Instantly Killed, Loner, Sidekick, Lemming, and Leader). I would like to explore how those archetypes crossover to education.

Helpless

While completing my administrative internship, my mentor principal insisted that I was explicit when communicating with staff. At the time, I felt the additional details were unnecessary and teachers could intuit the expectations. When I shared these thoughts with my mentor, she would simply mime a spoon going to her mouth, symbolizing that information needed to be spoon fed to teachers.

School culture and climate are enormous factors when it comes to teacher retention, staff recruitment, and building morale.

Teachers emphasize the importance of fairness regarding how administration treats employees. More specifically, teachers hate it when they perceive that certain individuals get away with more than they should, especially if those on the receiving end of preferential treatment are subpar educators.

This leads me to the question:

“Should teachers care how others are treated if they, themselves, are being treated fairly?”

Two teachers walk into a school.

The first one says, “This school is too hot.”

The second one says, “This school is too cold.”

Two teachers receive an email from the principal.

The first one says, “I wish teachers were trusted to make decisions.”

The second one says, “I wish the principal would make the decision.”