I Can’t “Let it Go”

Grandpa Joe (Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) and Jenny Gump (Forrest Gump) receive an appropriate amount of outrage for their numerous character flaws. However, Frozen’s Elsa somehow escapes criticism. It is time someone shine a light on the horrific human being that she is.

Elsa Facts

  1. Elsa nearly kills her kid sister, Anna, with frozen magic.
  2. Elsa’s magical irresponsibility leads to Grand Pabbie erasing Anna’s memory.
  3. Elsa can’t control her magical powers which leads to Anna’s isolation from not only her sister, but from the entire kingdom.
  4. When Elsa and Anna’s parents die, Anna is left to grieve alone.
  5. Anna’s naivety and subsequent engagement to Prince Hans is a direct correlation to her social immaturity caused by her separation from all living things (i.e. Anna is marrying a murderer thanks to Elsa).
  6. Unable to control her powers, the sight of a happy Anna pushes Elsa to set off an eternal winter in Arendelle.
  7. Rather than remaining as Arendelle Queen to work through her now public issues, Elsa flees. Not more than a day in the role of queen, Elsa breaks leadership rule number one: Don’t run away at the first sign of adversity.
  8. Peak of Elsa’s Evilness (Encounter at the Ice Palace)
    • When Elsa learns that her people are suffering from an eternal winter and starving (hard to grow crops with sub freezing temperatures), she elects to stay and let them die.
    • Still unable to control her powers, Elsa freezes Anna’s heart putting her on a path to certain death.
    • Seeing her injured sister, Elsa creates a snow monster to finish the job. I mean she creates a snow monster to save Anna from herself (yeah, right). The snow monster, created for Anna’s protection, chases Anna and Kristoff off a cliff.
  9. The mystery of Elsa’s powers that eluded her for 20 years was…”An act of true love.” One would think that an entire childhood in isolation should have led to this discovery ages ago. Within seconds of making the connection, Elsa frees Arendelle from it’s eternal winter. No magical montage necessary to show the progression of Elsa controlling her powers. One minute she is completely bewildered and the next she is happily creating a personal flurry for Olaf.

Elsa would have killed every single Oompa Loompa, poisoned the entire town of Greenbow, Alabama, starved Grandma Josephine, Grandpa George, and Grandma Georgina, attempted to murder Charlie Bucket, twice, and left Forrest to die in the jungles of Vietnam if she had her druthers.

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