The Opposite of Meditation

I practice the opposite of meditation.
I am never alone.  My thoughts are always there.

Instead of letting thoughts come and go,
I hold on to them.
I wrestle with them.
I play choose your own adventure with them.

Not all those adventures are positive.

I wish I could let the negative ones go,
but maybe there are benefits
to letting a negative thought marinate.

When I play out those thoughts in my head,
I imagine what I would say,
how I would act,
what I would do,
and how the lie would sound.

Then I wipe the thought away, 
but save the learning. 

All that time spent exploring my own thoughts
has taught me to notice cues,
motivations,
and insincerities.

I recognize how defensiveness might sound.
How avoidance might look.
How someone might disguise what they really want.

Of course, I could be projecting.
I could be wrong.

But sometimes, I recognize the path someone is taking
because I’ve already walked it in my head.

Maybe overprocessing every thought
has its advantages.