It’s not appropriate to attack Christmas songs during the holiday season. But once January rolls around, they’re fair game.

The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You) is problematic.

And no, I’m not talking about chestnuts. They’re gross, no one eats them, and no one roasts them. I’m talking about something else entirely.

“And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you”

Apparently, Nat King Cole takes issue with babies and old people. Two of our most at-risk, fragile, and sensitive demographics are somehow undeserving of a “Merry Christmas.”

I work in a school, so this doesn’t apply to me. But a good idea is a good idea, and when one hijacks my brain—as good ideas frequently do—I feel it is my responsibility to share it with the world.

Walls are expensive. It’s far cheaper to purchase or rent a large open area and scatter cubicles across the entire space. Cubicles create individual work areas that provide privacy for the 287 employees working in close quarters. They allow people to have private phone conversations, change clothing (midday outfit changes are essential in cubicle-based offices—fashion is paramount), and prevent food odors from wafting into neighboring workspaces.

The cubicle was a great idea.

But now, allow me to introduce the tribicle.

A tribicle is exactly what it sounds like: a cubicle, but with three sides. Get it?

Xeglyze, Zepbound, Qsymia, Xolair, Wegovy

Words your 4-year-old nephew blurts out while playing Scrabble?
Names of ancient elves from a forgotten chapter of Tolkien?
The secret language you and your best friend invented in 4th grade?

Nope. They’re drug names. And I finally know why they sound completely ridiculous.

The Origin Story

When Eminem released Infinite in 1996, the country experienced an unexpected surge: terrible white rappers. Fortunately for America’s collective eardrums, most of them failed to get their “jams” on the radio. But one particularly resourceful rapper—Chip McChiperson—had a brilliant idea.

There’s something oddly satisfying about answering questions about yourself and then diving into the results.

“I’m an extrovert.”
“I pursue creative endeavors.”
“I connect with others.”
“Praise motivates me.”
“Important decisions take me a long time.”

Most personality tests zero in on your strengths. (Clifton Strengths is a big one with “strengths” in the name—I’ve taken it twice [competition and significance are huge for me]).

But what if there was a personality test that focused solely on your weaknesses—in a no holds barred, brutally honest, and salt-coated (trademark) manner?

Introducing the Anti-Strengths Finder.

For Halloween, we went trick or treating in my brother’s neighborhood. It’s an older neighborhood, so the houses are farther apart. The boys ended up with less candy than normal, which got me thinking…

1. Lot Size

Ideal Range: 0.25–0.50 acres

• Anything bigger means more walking between houses and fewer doors per hour.
• Anything smaller often corresponds to higher-density neighborhoods—good for candy—but also tends to correlate with lower home values, which carries its own implications (more on that next).

Bottom line: You want houses close enough for efficiency, but not so close that the neighborhood skews away from family-oriented trick-or-treat activity.

Act 1, Scene 1

Setting: A school parking lot — a public place.

[Enter Hank and Stan, two cooks for the Grillin’ Me Softly food truck, setting up for the day. Hank teases Stan, who fancies himself a future Michelin-star chef.]

Stan
I hope they show up.

Hank
Why — so you can show them what a mean burger you cook?

Stan
I cook a great burger. Better than you.

Hank
That’s because you try. This is just another job to me.

Stan
A job that’s the first step toward my own restaurant.

Hank
Okay, so what’ll you do when they show up?

Stan
Let ’em know how bad their product is.

Hank
Well, looks like you’ll get your chance.

[Enter Chuck and Rick, cooks from the rival food truck Between the Buns. They park nearby and walk toward Grillin’ Me Softly.]